This past week I've been bouncing back and forth between depression and contentment. There have been incredibly good moments and then stretches of time where that old hopeless/pointless feeling has returned.
But I don't have that much to say about it tonight, because I know exactly what's causing it. Or I think I know, anyway: the same thing that's been causing it for years. The problem is that I'm not living my life the way I deeply want to live it, and I know how to re-organize my life to bring it more in line with my 'vision,' but for some reason I cannot bring myself to do it. In other words, the problem is that I know what needs to be done but then don't actually do it. And I've known for quite some time.
So.
Do it, then.
And remember that the things that I think will make me happy (and maybe do, in the very short-term) are not the same things that really will make me happy (in the long-term). And that being happy means going against my instincts a bit, because look where certain of my instincts have gotten me.
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3 comments:
You just need to come back to T-town for some r+r with R and you'll be right as rain.
I (for once) agree with Ryan. A baseball game and some time chilling = happy Teeb.
Or leave the country for a bit. It did wonders for me. Well... until I had to come back :)
Hopefully, I'll be home for a bit in May or June. Or maybe you all should come here! Ryan will attest that we mostly just drink beer and get high, but hey, look on the bright side: we mostly just drink beer and get high.
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