vision

I do not feel that I have found a community here in Illinois, which I think was a key to my happiness in Pittsburgh and in Tampa. I don't blame Illinois for this--I blame only myself. I think that in college (and even in my Master's) it was easier to fall into a community. In college, I had the dorm, and I had student organizations (especially Student Life, which was probably the formative experience of my college career). In my Master's, I had the Religious Studies Department and, nearer to the end, I unexpectedly fell into a sort of community at a local Starbucks. Here in Illinois, I have found a community neither in my department nor through student organizations. I don't think there's much that I can do about the department, especially at this point. We're all getting along now, but I don't think we're going to gel into a community, at least not one that I'm a part of. As for student organizations, I have made the mistake of not getting involved with a meaningful group (like Student Life was for me in college) here, even though it's obvious that this kind of involvement has been key to my happiness at other places. I did make an attempt to get involved here, near the end of my first year and beginning of my second, by working with the grad student committee of the Student Senate--I was even supposed to be the chair my second year. But I wasn't really invested in it, and didn't think the mission of the committee was that clear, and ended up letting that go. Perhaps I should have tried harder to stay involved there. But, really, I should have been more vigilant about finding a worthwhile group. I had a chance to get involved in something at the beginning of the semester--the Intergroup Dialogue group. I was in the class they sponsor, which could have led to work with a dialogue facilitation course on religion this coming Spring. This kind of work is dear to my heart, but I dropped the class, because I decided I only wanted one class, and the Social Philosophy class won out. I see now that this was a mistake. I should have taken both classes. The Dialogue group might've been just the kind of thing that would have invigorated me. The Social Philosophy class invigorated me intellectually and personally, but I think the Dialogue class would have invigorated me interpersonally. So this Spring, when I return from break, I think I'm going to try to get involved in something. I'm going to try to find a group that's working on something that I value, and I am hoping that, through this group, I can meet people with common interests and engage in the kind of work that helps me feel worthwhile. This is all part of me being more honest with myself about the kinds of things that make me deeply happy and then really pursuing those things and not letting myself chicken out, which is what I always always often often do.

I have also
been thinking
about a vision.

I realize that I have a lot of interesting (to me, anyway) ideas about religion, about education, about their intersection. But they don't really hold together into a vision, a comprehensive way of looking at religion and education. Perhaps I think that public schools should include space for students to explore issues of meaning--what their lives are about. This would include having them learning about different religious and non-religious worldviews in order that they could find a worldview that resonates with their lives. That seems authentic. Fine, fine, but what's the vision of religion and education that this idea relies on? What am I saying about religion if students can just come to identify with a particular one? What am I saying about schooling? What are the visions here? I think it would be beneficial to outline an ideal vision of religion and education--a sort of utopia--and then I could develop concrete steps for moving from our current situation to the utopian situation.

Keep thinking.